Wicket’sWorld

A long time ago, when I was a cuddly little puppy, I used to fit under the couch.

 Not anymore.

If you see my humans, can you tell them that?

Tonight, I lost a toy under the couch. It happens all the time…. I’m just playing, like the innocent little canine that I am, and suddenly the toy will roll under the couch. Then I have to spend the next 20 minutes getting the attention of someone with opposable thumbs and a long armspan to actually get the toy out for me.Â

When I lost the toy tonight, the humans just pushed me under there to see if I would still fit. Turns out I do, which will be handy for getting my toys in the future. However, it’s a hardwood floor under the couch, so I can’t get traction. Picture this, if you will: 6 inches of space between the floor and the couch. A 12-pound dog, flat on his belly, who can’t grip anything. Sure, sure, laugh if you will. That’s what my humans did. But I had to wiggle and slide my way out of there. This is animal cruelty!

I hate water. Water means either a bath or rain, neither of which are very pleasant. My humans threw me in a lake one time to see if my “swim reflex” worked. Of course it works! It’s a reflex! There’s no need to test it!

Anyway, check out this dog that feels the same way I do about water:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_FgONyS_qvI

Check this out:

http://www.asahi.com/english/Herald-asahi/TKY200708110097.html

If you’re too lazy to click on it, the gist of it is in the opening line: “Wild monkeys are making such a nuisance of themselves that dog owners will soon be allowed to unleash their pets to scare off the creatures.”

Dogs chasing monkeys - that’s what I’m talking about. A Wicket v. Spider Monkey smackdown. It would be glorious. I can finally have my revenge on another species with opposable thumbs. Woof!

I spend approximately 9 hours a day sitting in a crate. This is good time to ponder things such as the meaning of life.

Nugget of wisdom #1: Silence is the beginning of knowledge.

I am not a loud animal. I spend a lot of time listening to my owners talk, talk, talk. It’s unnecessary. Sometimes being quiet and mysterious is more powerful than barking all the time.

This is me:

Not to be confused with:

More to come later…